10 Ways To Avoid Discussing Your (Bad) Poster At A Conference

1. Pretend to be deaf.

2. Pretend to be blind. 

3. (If necessary) Pretend to be deaf and blind.

4. Print your poster in various shades of black.

5. Don’t shower.

6. Wear a t-shirt made out of your poster so as to be camouflaged against it.

7. Print your poster in Wingdings.

8. Ensure your mouth is constantly full of food, making “just wait” motions to whoever asks you a question throughout each mouthful, yet replacing said mouthful immediately once it has been swallowed.

9. Print your availability/ contact cards in the format of an extensive Treasure Hunt.

10. Get black-out drunk.

Humble Pie

Conferences are interesting for a number of reasons, and while I don’t mean to belittle the significance of scientific detail and discovery, one of the most interesting things I find is the opportunity to observe interactions between scientists.

Being British, humility is somewhat second nature to me (though this does come with its disadvantages), but I guess that’s not the case with everyone.

I just had a thought, inspired by my people watching over my few years of experience in science…

Somewhere out there, there is or will be someone who, at best, can poke holes in your arguments and methodologies or, at worst, can just flat out prove you wrong. Therefore, there is really no point in being a snob about anything you do. Ever.

I guess this mantra sort of slots quite nicely into most other aspects of life, too.